"Religion?....Fuck That!" -Scottie MacKinnon

I keep coming back to this idea of satanism. Not because of Satan, but because of how everyone reacts when they hear that I have been reading into it. Something like 90% of everyone (even atheists and liberal people) are almost personally offended that I am educating myself on the subject......not even buying into it, but just reading about it. I fail to see how people can be so put off personally by my exploration of the subject. Its not as if I'm preaching it or glorifying it. I rarely divulge my studies on the topic and when I do, I mostly point out the holes in their theories. One thing that dawned on me is that Satan only exists as much as we give him existence in our minds. Our belief in him lends him power. I don't believe that he exists any further than as a symbol and scapegoat. I find it funny that the christian people (whom I respect and support as long as they don't push their thoughts on me just as I wont push Satan on them) give more power to Satan by being put off by him than I do by reading about him. I don't believe in Satan as an entity, but Christians that are offended by his presence obviously do believe he exists just as they believe in their god; thus giving him more substance in reality than I do. He is more real and damaging to them than he could ever be to me since I dismiss his existence as fiction. When I explained this perspective to my roommate, Scottie MacKinnon, his reaction was that of "Religion?......Fuck That!" I have to agree to a certain extent. I think spirituality is healthy....almost necessary, but it is such a personal thing. How could it be possible for everyone to relate to a higher power under the same circumstances? Organized religion is as fallible as man and isn't for me. I think that if religion works for some people and it helps them live a fulfilling life more than it controls them, then that is good thing........for them. Like I said, spirituality is so personal. Religion should be offered and not promoted. The Church of Satan doesn't believe in Satan as anything more than a symbol of opposition. In fact they aren't a religious group. They are more like an organization than a church......so their title is quite misleading being that they aren't a church and they don't recognize Satan personified. They promote self-worship as your own god being that we all are the centers and controllers of our own personal universe. There is no set morals, they believe that everyone in the world is so different and has such a unique perspective that it is crazy to think that there could be one set of guidelines that would work for everyone. They support finding the things in your own life you find to be most important; and then basing your own ethics around what you value and what works for you. How practical is that? There is a lot that I don't agree with, but the points that I have outlined are the ones that I can relate with even if I don't agree entirely. Why can't people respect my interests without having to relate with them? I kind of like the world better without answers to these kind of questions. Perhaps if the answers do exist, maybe they are different for everyone.

Graff-ic Novels

It is strange to me that I have been really into dark and gory graphic novels lately because I cant really handle real gore ever since I found a dead body in cope park with its head blown off my sophomore year in high school; an apparent suicide. So its weird to me that I not only can deal with, but I like glorified fantasy gore. I think it might be my way of coming to terms with that experience in a dissociative and fictional way. I even have a tattoo of one of my favorite artist's (Ashley Wood) version of the violator demon from a spawn recreation coming out of his human form on my shoulder. It depicts a human body splitting open with blood splattering everywhere and the demon looming out of the corpse only half emerged. Another thing I have always wondered about is why my own blood has never bothered me, but other people's injuries make me cringe. I have no theories to explain this. I have been really into Hellspawn, The Darkness, John Constantine Hellblazer, and all of the 30 days of night books. I have this fascination with hell and have been reading up on the Church of Satan and theistic satanism. Not to say that I agree with it all or that I am a satanist or theistic satanist, I just really enjoy the unique perspectives as entertainment value at least if not for practical life application. Some of it is really close to my own personal views on society though. I have been conceptualizing a graphic novel that I hope to put into action one day when my literary and artistic skills allow. It will be called "Demiurge." I am still developing ideas but so far it is set in the future after Armageddon and the final holy war between heaven and hell. At the end of the war god and Satan had fought hand to hand, and as a result killed each other off. This battle took place in heaven and the result of god and Satan clashing actually crumbles the heavens. So all that is left for settings in the graphic novel is the ruins of earth and the seven circles of hell. Satan is dead so rule of the seven circles of hell is left to the demon masters that oversaw their realms during the reign of Satan. I want to have each of the seven circles and their rulers based off one of each of the seven deadly sins. The gluttony circle will be for the damned gluttonous souls and the demon master of that realm will be all fat and nasty almost Jabba the Hut style and so on for the lust realm ect. There are a lot of comics that deal with battles between good and evil or heaven and hell so I needed to come up with a new angle to make it interesting and unique. I feel that having it set not during, but after the holy war is sufficient and creates a new vibe and sort of "now what" kind of hopeless futility that satisfies me and is perfect for the dark overall style of the book. I am happy with this premise since it holds this strange set of circumstances for the people who survived and still live on earth knowing that there is no chance for deliverance since heaven no longer exists. Basically it makes being good or believing in god pointless and impractical in the world that is left after the holy war. This leaves a futility that will fuel allegiances between Satan loyalists, converted Christians, and the powers that be on earth; the demons of hell will exchange seats of influence in hell once their souls descend for their loyalty to do their demonic bidding in what remains of earth. Earth will be a true breeding ground for sin, terror, mutilation, murder, mayhem, chaos, disease, and sadism ect. I still need to do some conceptualizing and development besides actually writing the dialogue, drawing the characters, frames and landscapes ect. Mainly I need to come up with the perfect protagonist, his power or influence, and his special relationship to earth and the seven circles. Stay tuned!